Featured Friday: Finding Happiness (Christian Rhally)

Today’s featured writer is Christian Rhally, a second-year student at Yale from Switzerland. Majoring in Economics, he is interested in the intersection between human wellbeing, economic development, and a sustainable resource management. At Yale, he is the co-founder and President of InspireYale, a student organization that promotes creative thinking and educational programs on happiness for the New Haven and Yale community, and he is also a board member of the Yale Leadership Institute. In this article, he talks about how life and life’s brevity push one forward.

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This past October, I was invited to speak at the Ivy League International Students Networking Conference (ILINC) at the University of Pennsylvania. The subject of the conference was “Empowering International Students”, and the organizers of the conference asked me to hold a one-hour long presentation on a subject related to empowering students.

I thought about what empowers me, and especially what has given me strength throughout my life. Of course, my family and friends came to my mind, but this was an answer that I considered to be too simple and obvious. I wanted to bring a fresh and personal perspective on empowerment, and so I thought: “What are the thoughts or actions that have empowered me, and that represent something special that I could bring to my audience?” After some moments of reflection, two of the most important ones came to my mind: life and its brevity.

1 – We should not take our lives for granted

I think that the fact of living is empowering in itself. What were the chances that your parents met and conceived you? What were the chances that you, and I, were born? There were tiny chances for us to exist and to be here now, and so the fact that we are alive should not be taken for granted. No matter what our religion is (including agnosticism and atheism), we should always see our time here on Earth as an opportunity that we could have not received.

 I am not saying that life is always “good”. Sometimes, living can be painful, stressful, or scary. And sometimes, we might think that we would be better off dead. Even though this thought seems to be justifiable sometimes, I am convinced that looking at the larger picture throws these thoughts away. Despite all of our suffering, life, with its good and bad moments, is better than “nothing”. Life, in all its various conditions and forms, is better than having never lived. You could have never been born, I could have never been born, and the universe itself could have never existed… but we are here and now. The fact that we are alive is therefore extraordinary. 

 

2 – The brevity of life pushes one forward 

It is indeed extraordinary to be alive. However, something that could seem even more surprising is the fact that this life will not last forever. Some day, you and I will not be here anymore – or at least, considering different religions, we will not live as the same beings as we are now. We often forget about the brevity of our lives, and live as if we would never die. Nevertheless, it is essential to take the time to remember, from time to time, that we are going to die. Our time on Earth is limited, and we should be careful on how we use it. This is especially important in times of choices: “Should I enter this career?”, “What should I do: go to graduate school or do this internship?” Knowing that our time is limited (and that we could never have these same possibilities again) helps us see what we really want to do.

This is how the brevity of life empowers me. The fact that I am going to die constantly gives me a “bigger picture” on life, as well as a larger perspective on my successes and failures. Should I really care about this bad grade in school, knowing that I am going to die in a not too distant future (a couple of decades maybe)? Well, yes I should care about this bad grade, but this grade should not make me feel bad about myself. I am still alive, and this fact, because of its extraordinariness and its brevity, lifts me above my failure and pushes me forward.

As I was preparing my presentation for ILINC, thinking about these two essential thoughts gave me a new, fresh confidence. I was empowered, and felt that this presentation could inspire others and empower them. Now, I try to think about these thoughts every time I feel sad, angry or stressed, or when I lose the meaning that I want for my life. Yes, my life should not be taken for granted, and so I feel grateful for having the opportunity to be alive. Yes, I understand that I am going to die, and so I use my time wisely to become the person I truly want to be. These thoughts have not only helped me through difficult moments, but they have also led me towards a more meaningful life.

Exercise:

Take a moment every day (or as often as you want) to think and write down something for which you are grateful. You will spend time thinking about the positive in your life, and it will probably make you a happier person. These two apps can remind you about it:

• https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/gratitude-journal-original!/id299604556?mt=8
• https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=no.vistamedia.grattitude&hl=en

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If you have any comments, suggestions for future topics, or want write contact me at findmymotivation@gmail.com.

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